Brewer’s Poorly Written Reviews #001: Dark Souls Edition

By: Taylor Brewer

Look so I figure I have to contribute to this new endeavor that is Thoughts and Recs. So I would like to welcome you all to Brewer’s Poorly Written Reviews where I will be reviewing any and all things I see fit to review using my very limited vocabulary. These reviews will be short and if it deals with movies, TV shows or games they will Be SPOILER FREE unless I put somewhere that says it’s not. So anyway let’s do this.

My maiden review will be over a series of games that have been in the public eye for a while now. Dark Souls is what most people call a series that is hard and they are right. Unlike the hard games of our childhood where the controls were bad or the game was a port of an arcade game where all they wanted to you to do was shove more quarters into the machine, your failure in Dark Souls falls squarely on you sucking. The adage that many people who play Dark Souls is GIT GUD(get good) which is pretty easy to explain. If you suck get better.

The Dark Souls trilogy is a story wrapped into details that you actively have to search for. They give you one or two cut scenes per game and leave you to your own devices. If you want to figure out the story well be ready to read and assume and be wrong. Many of your items you pick up give a a hint as the over aching story of a world where the light is fading and you have to stop it. This is an oversimplification that if any Souls enthusiasts reads this will find 3-5 things wrong with that explanation. The easiest thing to do is try your best then YouTube the rest. I would recommend Vaatividya he gives many hours of story that most everyone including myself missed.

Now onto gameplay. Dark Souls in all three games is pretty straightforward pick a class and weapon and do it. It’s got your typical warriors, thieves, mages and clerics (religious mages) to choose from and you can change weapons on the fly as long as you put your points into that class type. So big sword warrior can’t pray for lightning or anything that they shouldn’t be able to do. When you play you have to go in with a plan then instantly throw that plan out the door because something unexpected happened to you and your character.

The draw though is the boss fights of Dark Souls. Many are gargantuan beasts or humans that there is no way you should be able to conquer. Most take up more than there fair share of the arena where you face them. But after dying over over over over over over over over over over over over over and over you finally get to the point of saying “ hey if he does A I gotta do B.” It’s like math if math said you suck at math. Dark Souls’ game over screen let’s you know what you already know you died but you have to read it and accept it.

So in conclusion Dark Souls is a fantastic series full of sunshine and happiness with all the warm hugs and feelings that you get from your dads 3rd wife during your birthday to keep up appearances. Feel free to pick up the remastered Dark Souls 1 later this spring.